Wow.... it's all I can say when I see that I have not written a post in way over a month. I usually devote my blog time to my first blog Chocolate & Kisses, where I basically type recipes we've tried, things about my life, and random stuff I'm sure nobody reads. I am okay with that. I started these blogs for myself and that is what I am still doing....writing for myself.
A few things have happened over the past month or so. I finally found a job, it's been over 2 months since I stopped working at my last one and I thought it was going to be hopeless. All the rejections definitely were not good for my self esteem but it has come to an end. What I learned from that little hiatus from employment is that finding a job literally sucks.
I never realized how fortunate I was to have a job during all these hard times and I give so much credit to all those who are still fighting the fight. It's hard. It's stressful and it's not something those who have not experienced would understand. I felt bad about myself. Kind of like "What is my damn purpose on this earth...I don't belong" bad. I didn't understand why my skills weren't wanted.
But, those jobs that I got rejected from over and over again....they just were not for me. I wanted a per diem job and I was basically going for anything knowing that our funds were definitely running out. Well just anything wasn't what I was suppose to get. I was suppose to get a per diem job....and I did!
I also learned during this time that I need to calm down. Between not getting pregnant and not having a job, my emotional stress level went through the roof, and my body sent me a wake up call in the form of high blood pressure. 170/100 to be exact! Whoa...... that needed to change.
I had a few doctors appointments and I realized what I needed to do. I'm 29 years old.... and I'm causing my body harm by allowing stress and my weight to set the tone for how it works. Not anymore.
As a team, my husband and I eat healthier. We move our bodies and we support each other. I realized that just being accountable to myself was not working. I needed support...I needed to talk about my health to motivate myself. I needed someone to remind me that being healthy and alive is far better than eating a cheesecake and being sick. Not that I've ever eaten more than one piece of cheesecake...but you get the point.
It's a slow process. I'm not expecting to lose all my weight over night. I want to do this the healthy way while still enjoying food. Just in moderation. I don't want to feel deprived and I want to feel proud of my choices.
I'm bringing back the basics that I used to lose weight in the past.... except this time I'm going to keep it off. My health depends on it.
