So I've been on the progesterone for 11 days. My temperatures have gone up which I feel is a plus. No more all over the place, up and down or spotting randomly through my luteal phase. For the most part, I feel happier, and less moody as if my hormones are stabilizing and not all over the place.
I have had cramping on and off, the lovely sore sisters, and a few pimples here and there. Otherwise, it hasn't been bad.
When I saw my temperature go up today on 11DPO instead of down, it made me happy. Then I went to put in the progesterone gel and I noticed blood. My happiness fell to the floor.
I'm trying to be positive. I don't expect things to just work- although it would be nice. It would be nice to sometimes not have a clue about anything and then one day notice you didn't get your period and BOOM like that....you are pregnant. Thats not my world. I have to be at peace with that in order to continue this journey.
I have to have faith that this will work when it's suppose to and to not force it. It's hard. Not only for me, but for so many other people out there. While I don't wish this on anyone, I sometimes do wish I had anyone in my life to relate to, but I don't. It hurts. A lot.
I've started to look for real people on instagram that are going through this journey, and by finding them- I am starting to not feel so alone. I pray for them just like I hope they pray for me. This is a heartbreaking journey and no one should have to do it alone.
So as I wait the next day or so to see if my period starts while taking progesterone, I will just find other things to focus my attention on. The things in my life that make me happy.
